On the EVE of my One year Commitment to PROJECT 365

While Driving I recorded some thoughts tonight on the EVE of Project 365 although you cannot hear my voice read it thinking im talking to you not just writing at you!

The RAW version of ME:

On the Eve of My one year commitment

I have felt a little weird the last five days. I engoraged myself with so much food, that I should not have. It's really sad that I have to admit this!(at the brink of tears). Um I'm feeling kind of weird I know that I need change and its a mind thing that I need to overcome not just a physical thing.  I'm doing pretty well um I know that my life needs changing and I think that I am going to take tomorrow and focus on that.  Um I think its really sad. I think i've become such a different person than I always imagined my life to be. Um Honestly I feel like crying. I feel like, Why did I become this way? Why have I become this different person? You know? There's has been many many times where I felt sad, I felt hurt and how do I heal that pain? I eat food! It started when I cut my eye with a pair of scisssors and I couldn't do things. I couldn't go outside and run around. I couldnt do anything! I wasnt allowed cuz the pressure was so great on my eye and I had to sit down and do nothing. So what else is there to do besides read books and eat. So thats where it started when I, I mean there's so many things...

Confession 1

I guess its confession time maybe Ill confess once a week something that I did that has to do with food. When I was in middle school I used to tell my parents that I needed to take some sort of snack or candy to for some sort of party at school. But in reality I kept it in my backpack and I would eat it randomly through out the week. You know and That's really sad! That's really sad, that I became that sort of person in the eight it was more like 7th and 8th grade I don't know if I did it after that or if it was just that one year.  I was so emotionally going crazy that I didn't know how to handle myself. and so I would eat. I became overweight slowly and I remember fifth grade and being a little bit chubby. And then after that I remember in 8th grade I wore a size 13 skort and I was chubby/ I would say I was a chubby overweight 8th grader but not to the point of extreme extreme overweight yet. And, You know? I remember people saying "shell grow out of it, shell grow out of it shes just a young person and shell have a growth spurt" but you know what I didn't grow out of it and look at me now I'm 27!!! Life is completely different for me! And I'm at a place where I didn't ever want to be! You know its kind of sad to admit but I want to start this journey and I know I can do it! I, I have five days off this week and I'm excited about that I really want to get organized. I want to clean out my car. I want to, I want to be a better me and that's what I'm hoping for in this journey so Here's to the EVE of the rest of My LIFE!