Snack

Here is my afternoon snack! Forgot to mention that I put slivered raw almonds too!

Day 1 of Restart

So far today has gone well. With starting a new morning family and changing eating its a good combo. I'm learning that when I want something at a particular time it doesn't mean I need it. Gettin up early was hard and in a few weeks it will be an hour earlier but I can do this.

I started out with a simply GOgurt yogurt tube because I was running late I also had maybe 10 snap crisps before I left. Snack at 10:25 carrots & celery (portioned bags) w/small amount ranch dip, and a small thing of simply fruit gummy things. Lunch Lentil Soup with an apple. Afternoon snack around 3:30 is trail mix that I made, lightly salted peanuts-raisins-leftover sesame honey cashews-raw cranberry nut mix. Mixed them all and made into small portioned containers. Dinner is salad with chicken and home canned peaches. I'll post photos when I remember them haha. :-) Snack after dinner will be cheese and 6 organic blue corn tortilla chips.

Denial as the Months have past

I was desperate for help so I posted a Wanted sign on my facebook page seeking a person to help me in my weight loss journey.  Someone that understands, someone who cares about me, someone who doesn't want to see me fail and lastly someone who loves the Lord.  After many appreciated responses I chose someone whom I never thought would have replied.  Dottie from my church sent me a message about helping me and being an accountability partner the way she wrote her message just spoke to me so I chose her.  I asked another friend Becky to maybe help me with exercise.  I am Thankful to all of the people who replied and grateful for friends who care about me.

I will be Joining Cascade Pool in the end of this month when my gym membership gets cancelled!

More to come as the days and weeks progress, I will try and see if I can set up my mobile phone to start blogging from in moments of triumph and moments of weakness!

Blessings and Love to everyone for your support and interest in my well being!
In Christ
Janette

Confession #2

I need a new plan and to truely take time to plan it.  I was proud of myself for not eating dessert last night at church! Yay me! :)

The shocking truth (really not so shocking but when you are in denial it is) when a little child says "you have a big belly," or "why are you so big," or "you are FAT," or "you have a fat belly," that may be truth but it still hurts. 

When I was in High school as a freshman I was at a school that had a preschool with an observation room and everything set up for students interested in children and child development.  So I was in that class of course (if you knew me you would understand I've been a Nanny a long time) and I would go into the preschool room as a helper occasionally.  Well this one boy was really blunt and blurted out "You're FAT" and I was hurt by it.  He was telling the truth but to have someone yell it out like that loudly in the air made my heart skip a beat and then pound faster. This little boy didn't have a wonderful home life and I'm sure was exposed to all kinds of things but he did speak the truth.  I'm sure he was 31/2yrs old or so.  I've never forgotten that and maybe have embraced those words. 

Well I am here today to renounce that which was spoken over me and to stop being in denial about it all.  I can ignore how I look but other people can't.  I'm here to confess that I am Perfectly the way God made me and I am going to take care of my physical body.  I may look large right now but as I get free from the hold of sin I will become who God made me to be.  I have Christs strength in me so I can do anything. Praise the LORD!

A begining but NO end. I mean YES it will have an end though hmmm

I'm one of those people who start something and rarely finish it.  So I haven't been on here because I avoid it like the plague. Which in fact is not smart.  Especially since this blog helps me so you can assume that I have not been doing good since I last posted since I have been silent.  Silence means I have been making wrong choice and want to avoid reality therefore food is my escape.  I get frustrated at myself and then go into despair and revert back to eating poorly because I am tired emotionally drained or ect... I have been making an effort the last two days to get up at 5:30 and I like it.  That just means I must go to bed earlier and I like that feeling.  I need to have a plan in order to succeed and am trying to act out that plan this week.  Thinking ahead before meals and making sure I have healthier options rather than junk food or eat too much.  Water is my friend!

I swam an hour yesterday (actually 1 hr 45 min but take 45 min off for the not very active times)
I walked 1.5 miles as well

Today I swam 45 minutes 

Tomorrow hoping to swim and maybe a walk in the AM

  .

Listen

Wrote this today

People do not understand
Life is like a band
Different sounds to hear
Bombarding us from everywhere

Open your ears and listen
There might be somethin you're missin
When that sound becomes perfection
We're headed in the right direction

When chaos surrounds
That still small voice abounds
Why be distracted
We need to be interacted

Waiting for us to respond
To create that unique bond
Will you unite with the Holy Spirit
Don't look at your own merit

Instructions to us is brought
No excuses wanted, not even I forgot
Willing and open we must be
Whats on the line, Eternity

Choices we make today
Effect us along the way
Choose wisely what you do
Communication is important for you

We've got him right by our side
It's so much easier if we don't hide
Following instructions is important
Our past yes will try to haunt

But like I said Listen
Only Listen
There is a voice that guides us along
To undo all of the wrong

Some cannot see
They are blinded and don't agree
That's why we listen to him
When our eyes are dim

Building our faith and setting us free
Is where he wants us to be
So open your ears right now
Of course he will show you how

Freedom is what you hear

2012 6:32AM

blah blah

I need to not be lazy today.  I have a tendency to be lazy sometimes when I am off work and have nothing planned besides what I really need to do and its all up in my head.

Last night I went out to Eagle Point to watch fireworks at a family I babysits house.
I showed up around 8:20 and the fireworks all around had started randomly on the streets.  I went inside for a while and hung out with the two woman in there.  They were cutting cake and taking out ice cream and there was a fruit dessert with cream and sugar over berries.  I was so tempted to eat it all but fortunately I had just eaten a piece of orange cream gum that tasted amazingly real.  I did not eat anything other than fruit which was awesome!!!

I watched for an hour and a half the fireworks show as many people had illegal ones and then the high school had a small show. It was nice to watch.  I am a morning person so staying up until 11:45 and then heading home is not the best thing in my opinion.

I am so thankful that I have a few days off and really need to clear my head.  I need to figure out some exercise and do it.  As I will not be going to the pool unfortunately.  I will walk around the park or try to take a jog tonight.

Just now I played an online game I like and just sat here lazy lol.  I must get moving or it'll never happen!

Day 3&4

I need to make sure I post everyday!
3
I had a set back yesterday... I made something extremely Delicious and ate too much of it! I know when I do that it spurs me on to make worse choices the rest of the day.  I now know that I cannot make something I love when I am hungry I must make it and dish it into small portions.  Also I haven't done a good job yet portioning out food because my fridge isn't working and i need to get the rest of my food containers from storage.  Tomorrow I am off and will do a bunch of prep and cooking!  :) Yesterday was very hard for me with my thoughts and I need to develop a plan for when those thoughts come!

4
Today I ate some things I probably shouldn't have but didn't eat nearly as much as I could have! I did have a small amount of sugar.  I am proud that my cravings were not given in to for sugary things that I wanted! :)

Small progress is better than none!

I must work on taking all my thoughts captive and giving them to the LORD!

Good Morning~

I did have some weak thoughts yesterday about a doughnut! So that's my confession for the day lol. It was a struggle and I got through it, Yay praise GOD! :)

My thoughts are what keep me the way I am.  If I change my view of food to something that keeps me alive not something I live for then I can and will lose weight.  This is a mindset change not just a habit change or a food change.  Overcoming my thoughts for a doughnut and those exact thoughts was hard.  I thought you know I don't need one or to think of one (I didn't want to buy one just had a conversation with someone about it and thought how it would have been nice before this lifestyle change to have had one (lol)) I thought I can have one right now, but I'm choosing not to and to take care of myself. I'm proud of myself for making that decision and pressing onwards! :)

DAY 2

Today has been great and I was blessed to go to the grocery store and not buy any sugar or wheat for myself! YAY I did buy sherbert for a party though and only ate half a cup! Woot

I'm a little tired tonight and sore as I did some new exercises in the pool today! Yay Me

I ate a little more than I had planned but a whole lot less than last week and an amazingly small amount compared to most people.  YAY PTL anyways I also had veggies and fruit and smaller portioned mini meals! :)

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)


Thank the Lord for that ^... Well I have confessed my sins of being gluttonous! No more shall that unrighteousness rule my life! Hallelujah!!!
Being Open and Honest about it for all the world to see is going to help me.  

I ate small portions throughout the day yesterday and had a small amount of food compared to eating three meals a day.  I'm ready for the day and ready for new things to come! I got plently of rest in yesterday and did my laundry.  My room is still a bit crazy but I feel good about getting half of it put away and organized.  
 

The first morning = I feel so nervous lol... I guess not knowing what this is going to entail makes me nervous.  I need to take things slowly and not rush into anything for today as I feel like I want to conquer the world right now! HAHA! Anyways I think I'll focus on preparation today cleaning my fridge out as I bought one off craigslist and it needs cleaned before I use it.  Then getting all my tupperware ready for when I go to the store tomorrow and portion out my food. Last Fall I did lose weight and felt good... I'm going to try and do some of those eating habbits again.  Lots of protein and small meals 6 times a day.  I'll start that as soon as i have everything ready probably Thursday.   I don't want to do a drastic diet and then later gain weight again.  My problem is portion control and not enough veggies.  I have to find some of my cooking stuff again from storage this week.  I do know that I really need to cut pop and sugary drinks.  I enjoy coffee and if I want one need to get something a whole lot less sweet and once a week!
Another thing that willl help me is people not JUDGING me if they see me eat something like a cupcake at a birthday or something. Seriously If I ate one once a month its not going to hurt me.  Although I may not eat one for a long time and that is not my fav thing LOL

I also in this year want a deeper great relationship with the Lord.  I can't do this on my own and with help can do anything through Christ who Strengthens me!!!

Blessings and Thank You for reading!

So at the begging of the week either June 25th or 26th I came up with the idea of Project 365. I was inspired by my Friend Leah who said "you know if we lost 10lbs a month we would be at our goal weights by next summer."  I thought "true" and 10lbs is a perfectly good amount for 30ish days a month.  I thought to myself "Well why don't we? For these 12 months lose 10 lbs?!?" Lets Do it, I decided! Here are the rules I made up for the year. For each month we do not lose 10 lbs we must give the other $10 and if we gain any weight from our last weight in we must add that amount to the $10 owed.  If we do lose 10lbs Yay for us we can spend or save that $10 for ourselves! That's just a little incentive to lose weight and keeps us checking in once a month with each other and the real world! I will not post my real weight for a few months because honestly you don't want to know!
For the first day of this Journey (tomorrow) I am going to commit this year to the Lord! :)

On the EVE of my One year Commitment to PROJECT 365

While Driving I recorded some thoughts tonight on the EVE of Project 365 although you cannot hear my voice read it thinking im talking to you not just writing at you!

The RAW version of ME:

On the Eve of My one year commitment

I have felt a little weird the last five days. I engoraged myself with so much food, that I should not have. It's really sad that I have to admit this!(at the brink of tears). Um I'm feeling kind of weird I know that I need change and its a mind thing that I need to overcome not just a physical thing.  I'm doing pretty well um I know that my life needs changing and I think that I am going to take tomorrow and focus on that.  Um I think its really sad. I think i've become such a different person than I always imagined my life to be. Um Honestly I feel like crying. I feel like, Why did I become this way? Why have I become this different person? You know? There's has been many many times where I felt sad, I felt hurt and how do I heal that pain? I eat food! It started when I cut my eye with a pair of scisssors and I couldn't do things. I couldn't go outside and run around. I couldnt do anything! I wasnt allowed cuz the pressure was so great on my eye and I had to sit down and do nothing. So what else is there to do besides read books and eat. So thats where it started when I, I mean there's so many things...

Confession 1

I guess its confession time maybe Ill confess once a week something that I did that has to do with food. When I was in middle school I used to tell my parents that I needed to take some sort of snack or candy to for some sort of party at school. But in reality I kept it in my backpack and I would eat it randomly through out the week. You know and That's really sad! That's really sad, that I became that sort of person in the eight it was more like 7th and 8th grade I don't know if I did it after that or if it was just that one year.  I was so emotionally going crazy that I didn't know how to handle myself. and so I would eat. I became overweight slowly and I remember fifth grade and being a little bit chubby. And then after that I remember in 8th grade I wore a size 13 skort and I was chubby/ I would say I was a chubby overweight 8th grader but not to the point of extreme extreme overweight yet. And, You know? I remember people saying "shell grow out of it, shell grow out of it shes just a young person and shell have a growth spurt" but you know what I didn't grow out of it and look at me now I'm 27!!! Life is completely different for me! And I'm at a place where I didn't ever want to be! You know its kind of sad to admit but I want to start this journey and I know I can do it! I, I have five days off this week and I'm excited about that I really want to get organized. I want to clean out my car. I want to, I want to be a better me and that's what I'm hoping for in this journey so Here's to the EVE of the rest of My LIFE!